Xenosaga: Simulacrum of Darkness
by T.T. Goldsmith
Summary: A retelling of the classic story, told through the perspectives of playable characters during the course of the story.
1. Solace

1. Solace

I've almost forgotten what morning looks like. Sometimes when I look into her eyes, I can see who I used to me.

I've recently taken to wandering the halls of the ship. There is a certain peace in just hearing the sound of your footsteps on the hard floors.

The Woglinde is a magnificent ship, truly. Although in the depths of space, madness creeps on you unawares. Just today, one of our new additions - those beige coats who have authority from God knows where - yelled at me as I walked through the hanger. I'm not sure why, but the object we picked up from space has everyone on edge. One of the crewman, even, asked for my e-mail address. No crewman usually approaches people from our department.

I came very close to the end today. Allen chastised me. Everyone else held their eyes down. But I can feel it close - her. I saw her again today. In the machine. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. Most of the time, though, I only remember the reflection of those eyes, those bright golden eyes.

Miyuki had a gun made for me. It feels odd attached to my hand. When I walk down the halls, I can feel the walls shaking, as if the world were about to collapse. I don't know why she felt it necessary to give it to me. But I can't not carry it around now, or else she'll be offended, most likely. And I remember the last time I offended her, unintentionally of course. She sent a flash flood into the simulation, and I ended up spending fifteen minutes waiting for the clouds to clear before I could gather more data.

I miss him.

-Shion's diary


	2. Walls

2. Walls

It's difficult to focus now.

He stands in the corner, smirking. He is playing with some books on my desk. I can't tell if he is nervous or not, but he avoids looking at either me or her.

Her dead eyes - I didn't know they could be so dead. She stares out at the blankness of space as if it were an algorithm to be solved. KOS-MOS we called her, but it's hard now to remember why. I am still trembling. All those soldiers, blowing themselves up, and his eyes were laughing the whole time. As if their death was approval to him for his pitiful existence.

They pace outside the door. I can hear their claws scratching against the frame, screeching across the floors. The Hilbert Affect worked better than I could imagine. Their forms have actually materialized into this world - not just as matter, but as living creatures. They bleed, they cry out, they are angered, they feel passion and monstrous rage. What they are only God knows - God knows I have no idea.

Virgil refuses to look at me. He touches his gun, stares at the door, then touches his gun again. The sound of his rifle still echoes in my ears.

I don't know if we'll get out of this alive. They told us there are still escape pods, but I don't know if we'll make it, even with KOS-MOS. I only hope the other ships are faring better now.

-Shion's diary


	3. Marooned

3. Marooned

She is so beautiful. Does she not see how I look at her?

It's lonely in here. The sounds of the computers and Shion typing on her pad, checking her dictionary, my own breathing, and the vast emptiness of space, that especially looms over us.

"Allen, watch out!" she said, as she threw me to the ground and fired a round over my head. The gnosis had flickered and backed away with her shot, but I barely had time before another one came and almost killed her. Except for Virgil, who is now dead.

He saved her life and KOS-MOS killed him, without even thinking about the dangers of killing an officer. And then suddenly we were in battle again. I had to literally drag Shion away from the battle into the escape pod, while the mad robot was still firing into the gnosis. Perhaps we missed a string of numbers in her programming, I don't know.

It seems fruitless to type in these thoughts right now. Will anyone rescue us?

-Allen


	4. Dog Names

4. Dog-Names

I saw my son today.

He was playing in the park with the dog I bought him for his birthday. He had playfully given the dog the name of Nex, even though the dog was not real, and furthermore, whose model name was Nexus 6. He was running through the park like I'd never imagined him, full and vibrant. The sun shone down brightly, and the shadows flickered against my memory sensors. The image had faded then, replaced by the alarm that began to blare.

The little girl looked at me, wide-eyed and scared. She was a Realian, was she not? Were they not to be afraid of anything, trained as blind killers and renegades of the law of emotion. Similar to me.

Except that I still feel. Even though my arms are heavily and scratched with battle-burns, the circuits continually reminding me of my immortal dichotomy between life and death. I can recall just yesterday having wished for death, but now with this little girl staring up at me, I don't even remember why. Is my humanity coming back?

The guards are crawling all over this place. About ten minutes ago the little girl and I picked up the scrapped remains of one of the A.G.W.S. units we destroyed. In the black box of the cockpit was the dead pilot and a small metallic key. The girl is holding it now, staring at it through the light of the flourescent sheetlights. While the key was unexpected, I have seen enough death that the pilot who attacked us is little more than a sigh now.

The girl gave me the name of Ziggy. I'm not sure whether to feel proud of being recognized as a reliable liife-form, or being given the name of a dog. The girl is fierce though, and hides more than she shows. In a moment we will be required to exit this room, and brave the terror of the outside. With little chance of survival, the best we can do is what we will do.

-Ziggurat 8


	5. A Bowl of Curry

5. A Bowl of Curry

It feels like a hundred years since I last made curry. Putting it together using the meager ingredients they had on the ship was difficult, but worth it for every expression on the Captain's face. He enjoyed it, even if did not show it. What is it with men and their need to insult the cook so as to show their appreciation?

Today was the first time I was able to explore the Elsa without Tony following me. He's such a handsome young man, but I don't think he really understands what I'm all about. He does have the cutest eyes though. He is flying the ship now, though, and Captain Matthews seems pretty fussed over him following me throughout the kitchen, offering to help cook. I just can't see those pilot's hands putting together a curry dish. I'd be half afraid he would launch the sauce onto the ceiling while trying to show off.

The underbelly of the ship is so large, so much bigger than the upper decks. Chaos was nice enough to let me use the terminal here. He's such an odd little boy; reminds me the stories I grew up with on Militia about humans combined with machines. It's impossible to really tell how old he is. But I feel more at home with him than anyone else on the ship, even Allen right now. He's so jittery and nervous, I want to hit him every time he opens his mouth!

Yes, I realize we are on a pirate ship (as if I didn't know) and we are stranded away from home by a thousand miles on board a vessel with a robot who is half-crazy and bent on God-knows-what-orders from headquarters who will shoot or kill any of us who get in her way. I really ought to shut KOS-MOS down, but I haven't the heart seeing how much of our life we gave to building her. The gnosis are enough to deal with, without all this.

I think the curry is getting cold. I hope the commander isn't too upset by his meal. He has seemed so distant lately, so alone. Sometimes food does just the trick.

-Shion


End file.
